


My Kingdom Awaits (And They've Forgiven My Mistakes)

by Rainbow_Transform



Series: The Boys Are Back In Town [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And he loves his nephew, And he needs love, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Episode Related, Gabriel is a Softie, Gabriel is hurt, Jack got his sweet tooth from Gabriel, M/M, No one will tell me otherwise, Post-Episode: s13e17 The Thing, That's it, and help, enjoy, this is a sad story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 19:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Transform/pseuds/Rainbow_Transform
Summary: “Your father... was the brightest,” Gabriel tells Jack. “He was the brightest out of all of us, and he was suppose to be the Battler.”“What does that mean?”“There are four archangels, tasked with different things. Michael was the Leader, Lucifer the Strategist, Raphael the Caretaker. Sometimes they overlapped, like when Lucifer fell -”“What were you?”“What?”“What were you tasked with?”Gabriel stops, and he smiles slightly. “I was the Laughter.”





	My Kingdom Awaits (And They've Forgiven My Mistakes)

**Author's Note:**

> MY BABY BACK, AND HE'S WITH SAMMMMMMM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> I wrote this yesterday and today! :D I enjoyed writing it, might seemed rushed, sorry I'm just very very excited!!!!!!

Sometimes, Gabriel can feel the breeze. Sometimes, Gabriel can _feel_ someone’s lips touch his, a silent kiss.

 

Sometimes, Gabriel thinks he can hear his Aunt Amara screaming underneath the Earth’s crust. (But then again, he _felt_ when she escaped. Gabriel wonders why he’s still here - still _trapped_ \- when his aunt is gone from _her_ prison.)

 

(Was this Gabriel’s punishment?)

 

(It _hurts_.)

* * *

 

Asmodeus wired - stitched - his mouth shut when Gabriel’s screams began to bother him.

 

“We can’t have anyone listening, can we, _Loki?_ ” He chuckles like the joke’s this great thing.

 

(Was anyone looking for him?)

 

(Was Sam okay?)

 

(Everything hurts.)

* * *

 

Gabriel’s drained of his Grace each time it replenishes.

 

It exhausts him, yet fuels Asmodeus.

 

(He comes back, screaming, once. Told Gabriel his Grace’s barely hanging on by a shred, yelled that he didn’t get _enough_ . Told him that his nephew’s spineless. That he doesn’t have what it takes to rule Hell, that _he,_ Asmodeus, would rule Hell better than his nephew.)

 

(Gabriel didn’t know he had a nephew.)

 

(He wonders whose he is. A nephila. Huh. Maybe he’s Gabriel’s, he’d been around a couple of times.)

 

(Gabriel thinks it might just be Cas’s. Though, he needs to have sex with Dean first. Maybe he did. Gabriel’s been trapped here long enough that Cas couldn’t _not_ see.)

 

(But he says nothing, keeps his eyes down, and doesn’t respond when Asmodeus screams.)

* * *

 

He feels - he feels his siblings.

 

He reaches for them, searching with the tiniest Grace shred left.

 

 _Please,_ the once-proud archangel whispers. _Please._

 

No one looks in. No one even notices. His siblings _leave_ him, alone, deep within the Bowels of Hell.

 

Gabriel’s world crumbles. The Grace stops reaching, and retreats. It’s got to replenish itself. Gabriel bows his head, gives up hope, and enjoys the few moments of silence.

 

(He wants to go Home.)

 

(Wants to go back to his Father’s strong arms.)

 

(His Aunt’s stories.)

 

(He wants to go back to Lucifer, before the Mark. Back to Michael, before being forced to lock Lucifer away, before Raphael turn his back away from Gabriel’s laughter. Before Gabriel stopped playing his pranks, and Home became a training ground for fledglings, ready to fight in the Apocalypse.)

 

(Back to Castiel being a fledgling.)

 

(Back to his family together. Once again.)

 

(He can’t.)

 

(His brothers are dead. No archangels exist anymore, even if Lucifer’s surfaced. His father is gone. His aunt is gone.)

 

(It hurts, but Gabriel knows.)

 

_(Home doesn’t exist to him anymore.)_

* * *

 

Ketch has done horrible things.

 

Gabriel knows this. He’s the person that Gabriel would “prank” if the time came for it.

 

But Ketch is horrified as he stares at Gabriel’s beat-up expression, at his stitched-up lips.

 

(Gabriel wants to laugh, but instead, he holds his head high to stare at him.)

 

(A show’s a show, after all.)

 

(He gets punished later, for looking up without permission.)

* * *

 

Ketch decides that Asmodeus isn’t his boss after watching Asmodeus inject himself with Gabriel’s Grace, and Gabriel watches as he gets beaten and tortured.

 

He listens to Asmodeus’ words, because they are meant for him just as they are meant for Ketch.

 

(Gabriel wishes it weren’t true.)

 

(But it is true.)

 

(And isn’t that the hurtful _truth_?)

* * *

 

Ketch decides, suddenly, to retaliate like a dog chewing at a human’s homework.

 

He takes Gabriel away and Gabriel doesn’t want to go.

 

(It will _hurt_. When Asmodeus comes after them, comes after his favorite power source, the punishment will be worse.)

 

Gabriel whimpers, screams, and struggles.

 

Ketch kills a demon with Gabriel’s blade and Gabriel takes three steps away. Ketch grabs Gabriel’s arm, hissing at him to walk faster and faster as they continue down the long corridor of Hell.

 

(Gabriel stops struggling, walking as fast as Ketch’s stride.)

 

(There’s a tiny glimmer of hope.)

* * *

 

They arrive in the Men of Letters bunker. Gabriel remembers this - he’d given them his Grace a few times for certain spells. Told them it’s better if they use it in an _emergency_ only. Apparently, the Grace is gone now. Somewhere else. Gabriel whimpers.

 

Gabriel hears the door open, and someone’s voice floats to his ears.

 

_Sam._

 

(Gabriel stays. He watches, wide-eyed, as Ketch explains what he did and pulls him out of the back. He sits him in a chair.)

 

(“We need his Grace.” _Sam. No._ )

 

(Gabriel’s breathing quicken, and he whimpers, screams, kicks back. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-_ )

 

(Ketch grabs his shoulder, shakes his head, tells him to “shh” and takes out a vile of Grace and Gabriel’s archangel blade.)

 

(Gabriel makes no move to take them. He doesn’t have permission.)

 

(Sam doesn’t want to keep Ketch with them; Dean does. Dean’s vote outweighs Sam’s.)

 

(Ketch stays.)

* * *

 

Gabriel flinches at Ketch’s movements, flinches at Dean’s movement. He doesn’t flinch at Sam, because despite Gabriel’s “lessons”, Sam’s stitched-together, broken, but _bright - so bright, Gabriel can’t see his face -_ soul still glows bright when he looks at him. Dean’s is more dull, his eyes staring at Gabriel, seeking answers to questions.

 

Dean sits down, next to him, with a surgical knife. Gabriel flinches, and kicks at the chair Dean’s sitting on. The answer’s clear: _no_. Ketch tries to calm him, but Gabriel kicks at Ketch’s kneecaps (the bastard), and that is clear: _you might have calmed me, once, but not again._

 

Dean tosses the knife and Sam comes back with scissors.

 

“He won’t let anyone near him.” Dean tells him. Gabriel stares at Sam, twitches once, and then turns his back.

 

“Let me try,” Sam whispers.

 

“Be my guest,” Dean tells him. “I’m going to pack.”

 

(Sam’s fingers and palm are callus, but his eyes are soft. A tiny smile, and Gabriel remembers: _he’d been broken, too._ )

 

(He lets Sam pick up the scissors, and the knife, and allows him to work. Sam does it as soft as he can, but there is pain.)

 

(Gabriel knows it can’t be helped. Pain’s an old friend, though, and Gabriel stays silent.)

* * *

 

 

“Gabriel, man, what happened to you?” Sam asks after he finishes, and Gabriel doesn’t answer. Dean comes in, doesn’t seem surprised that Sam managed to get the wire out, and tells him to start the spell. There’s no time like the present.

 

Gabriel watches as Sam argues with his brother about going with, lets Ketch go with Dean, mixes his Grace with the spell, chants the words, watches the portal open, and then watches the Winchesters seperate to get their mother.

 

Gabriel keeps his head down as Sam turns around. “Come on, Gabe,” Sam says quietly. “We can go to the bathroom and you can go take a shower if you want.”

 

Gabriel doesn’t answer but follows Sam like a puppy.

* * *

 

He stares at the water like it’s hurt him, but he doesn’t climb in. “Gabe?” Sam questions. “You don’t want to…?”

 

Gabriel _flees_.

* * *

 

He can’t fly, he can’t fly, _he can’t fly, he can’t fly, he can’t fly, he can’t fly._

 

He finds a room, and wards it with Enochian. The strongest he could think of. And, maybe, some writing. He doesn’t really know yet. Then, he slides onto the bed, curl into a ball, and doesn’t move.

 

Sam comes in, pauses, and then brings a chair. He sits and watches Gabriel, and tells him, quietly, “I’m not leaving you alone, Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel doesn’t respond.

* * *

 

Gabriel’s “sleep” habit stopped the moment he’d been in Asmodeus’s clutches. He doesn’t move from the bedroom he’s in for days at a time, until he hears his brother call for Dean Winchester.

 

Sam’s out making food, and Gabriel wants to scream. He doesn’t want his brother to know he’s alive - he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s alive. Asmodeus will find him using his family, Gabriel _doesn’t want that._

 

Castiel and Sam are arguing and Gabriel wishes they wouldn’t. Gabriel’s fingers the clothes he’s been wearing for a while and he hears Castiel hiss: “What’s more important than your brother?”

 

Gabriel can _hear_ Sam’s heartbeat quickens, and his Soul darkens. And he hears, Sam’s voice is quiet but determined: “ _Your_ brother.”

 

And Gabriel watches the doorway, waiting for Castiel to burst in.

* * *

 

Castiel touches Gabriel’s forehead, trying to heal - to get inside his head. Gabriel thrashes, pulls Castiel out of it. Uses his un-stitched mouth to tell Castiel: _“Don’t go in there.”_

 

Castiel doesn’t. Instead, he sits at the edge of Gabriel’s bed, looks around. Reads the writing Gabriel put up.

 

“The Bunker is alre-” And Castiel pauses. Sam looks up from the doorway.

 

Gabriel stares at the writing he’d put up. He didn’t remember that.  _Why did you leave me?_ Repeated over and over again weaved throughout the protective wards.

 

Gabriel stares at it, then turns to Castiel whose eyes have suddenly turned wet. This wasn’t supposed to make him cry. Gabriel reaches a trembling hand, slowly, toward his little brother and brushes away a teardrop.

 

“Thank you, brother,” Castiel whispers and then gets up to the doorway. Sam follows him and come back a moment later.

 

Sam doesn’t touch him. Doesn’t even ask him if he’s okay. He sits at the edge of the chair, a silent protective figure. It’s a silent _I’m here for you._ Gabriel knows.

* * *

 

Sam falls asleep and Gabriel pads into the kitchen. Castiel has long since gone - Dean isn’t there, Gabriel isn’t speaking, Sam’s staying with Gabriel. Says he’ll be back if they call. Tells them that he’s going to search for their Father and Aunt. To find them and maybe they’ll help Gabriel.

 

Gabriel stares at everything in the Bunker’s kitchen, and lifts his hands. He looks at them, and his fingers lift into a familiar gesture.

 

Gabriel snaps his fingers.

* * *

 

He goes back to the room where Sam’s suddenly awake, alert, and looking at Gabriel with a _peculiar_ expression. Gabriel climbs back onto the bed, and stares at Sam.

 

With a quiet voice, Gabriel asks to know his nephew. Sam swallows, and begins his story.

* * *

 

Gabriel’s proud.

 

Proud of his nephew. Proud of his Winchester. Proud of his little brother. Proud of his nephew’s mother.

 

( _Maybe_ proud of his brother. He did leave his son, but maybe he didn’t want to. Gabriel doesn’t have the details.)

* * *

 

Gabriel tells Castiel that he loves him. He tells him that he never said it enough. Gabriel tells Castiel that he’d rather be back when he was a fledgling at Heaven, than being there now.

 

Castiel explains that Lucifer is ruling Heaven now with one of their sisters at his side. Explains that the Angels are rowdy, crazy. Explains that they act more like fledglings than fully-grown Angels. Gabriel can relate, and feels sympathy for his brother - yet, Lucifer _wanted_ that.

 

He chose to be the Angels’ leader, since Michael is losing his mind in the Cage. He _chose_ to be the Battler, the Strategist, the Caretaker, and the Laughter. He chose it; because his brother _needed_ it.

 

And it’s tearing him apart.

 

Gabriel tells Castiel that Lucifer can’t know he’s alive.

 

Maybe one day. But that day is not right now.

* * *

 

The portal closes, and Sam goes mad. He doesn’t ask if he can use Gabriel’s Grace, searching for an alternative.

 

Gabriel grabs Sam’s hands, and with a quiet voice, tells him to that he needs Gabriel’s Grace, to bring Gabriel’s family - _Jack_ \- home.

 

Sam does.

* * *

 

Dean comes back with Mary Winchester and Jack Kline in tow. Sam hugs Mary, hugs Jack tight, and hugs Dean just as tightly as Lucifer would hug Gabriel, if he knew Gabriel was alive.

 

Gabriel watches by the stairs, and when Mary’s eyes turn toward his, he flees.

 

He feels Jack’s heartbeat and power thrumming underneath the surface of the teen body.

 

He looks like Castiel - Jack does. Not just his human face, but his True Self at that fact. But his power - that power is Lucifer’s. Despite Jack’s best attempts to keep himself _Castiel’s_ son, his power will always stem from Gabriel’s big brother.

* * *

 

Mary Winchester pays him a visit. Sam follows her in, eyes dark. “Hello, Gabriel,” Mary tells him.

 

Gabriel feels anger thrumming deep within the surface of Mary’s skin. “I’m Mary.”

 

“My Aunt and Father brought you back,” Gabriel whispers. “You’re shrouded in their power. Together.”

 

Mary looks surprised. “Wel-”

 

“You died. When Azazel came after you because of the deal. You didn’t go to Hell, did you? No, you went to Heaven because Azazel traded you for Sam’s.”

 

Mary’s eyes widen. “And then you died and John went mad and he decided to emotionally abuse both Dean and Sam - and Dean had to be a mother, father and brother and everything hurt for him and Sam and Sam wanted a normal life but Sam can’t have normal life because of you.”

 

Gabriel pauses, then stops talking. Mary’s eyes are wet, and Sam looks shocked. They both leave, and Gabriel’s left alone.

 

( _Alone_ , his mind whispers. _Always alone._ )

* * *

 

Gabriel doesn’t talk for four weeks afterwards. Instead, he just traces and remembers the Bunker’s exits and when Castiel comes back.

 

His little brother always comes back looking more ragged and tired-looking. Gabriel grips his arm and shakes his head. _Stop looking,_ he tries to tell Castiel. _They’re not coming back yet. Stop looking._

 

His Father and Aunt are gone, and they won’t return unless _they_ want to come back. And maybe that’s best. His Father’s plans aren’t the best-made plans and his Aunt’s plans mostly involve eating everything.

 

Gabriel pushes all thoughts of his Father and Aunt out of his head, turning around and goes back to the warded room.

* * *

 

Dean doesn’t visit him for a while. Sam’s sleeping in the chair again, and Gabriel wishes that he’d sleep on the bed. The chair’s not very comfortable, and it hurts worse when Sam get out of it - Gabriel can tell.

 

When Dean comes in, he looks at Sam’s sleeping form and Gabriel watching him. He tells Gabriel that they might’ve found God and Amara and Gabriel almost laughs. They aren’t going to find them unless they _want_ to be found, what don’t they get?

They didn’t find them, and Gabriel just raises an eyebrow. There are no hard feelings, but Gabriel knew it.

 

Castiel comes up with the _brilliant_ idea of praying to him, and Sam looks like he’s on The Office.

 

(Gabriel laughs. His throat is sore afterwards, but the laughter fills the air.)

* * *

 

“God don’t care,” Dean says stubbornly. Gabriel’s out of his room, sipping at a cup of hot chocolate. “He left you to die, Cas.”

 

“He did it because my brother’s been through enough.” Gabriel says quietly.

 

 _“What?”_ Dean snaps, but Gabriel doesn’t say anything else.

* * *

 

“Brother, maybe if you pray he will come,” Castiel asks Gabriel. Gabriel smiles bitterly.

 

“No.” He tells him.

 

(He tries to implement what he meant. That Gabriel prayed, begged, screamed, cried for their Father to come. He tries to tell him that his Father didn’t come, didn’t care enough.)

* * *

 

Jack comes in, a one-on-one session and talks to Gabriel. Jack doesn’t force Gabriel to speak, he just talks.

 

Gabriel nods along, and listens.

* * *

 

Gabriel gets nightmares of KFC Reject coming after him, and he wakes up in a cold sweat every few days.

 

But Sam’s always at the edge of the chair, and he always soothes Gabriel back to sleep. Gabe grabs his hand, once, and tried to pull him towards the bed. A silent invitation, and Sam complies.

 

He slides into the bed, and Gabriel curls closer to him. Sam’s warm, and nice, and Gabriel _sleeps._

* * *

 

Sam doesn’t tell Gabriel to pray to God, doesn’t try to make Gabriel eat, doesn’t force Gabriel to do anything he doesn’t want to do.

 

But he gives him clothes, feeds him, doesn’t touch him unless _Gabriel_ says it’s okay, sleeps in Gabriel’s bed to keep the nightmares away.

 

( _Heat of the Moment,_ his mind sings. Gabriel knows what it means. He’s in far too deep.)

 

And he tells Gabriel that Jack needs guidance. Jack needs to learn.

 

So, Gabriel teaches.

* * *

 

The first thing Gabriel learns is that Jack loves nougat. He’s obsessed with it, even if it’ll hurt his teeth and Gabriel giggles and his Grace flickers and reaches for Jack’s.

 

Gabriel snaps his fingers.

 

Jack _screams_ with delight.

* * *

 

“Your father... was the brightest,” Gabriel tells Jack. “He was the brightest out of all of us, and he was suppose to be the Battler.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“There are four archangels, tasked with different things. Michael was the Leader, Lucifer the Strategist, Raphael the Caretaker. Sometimes they overlapped, like when Lucifer fell -”

 

“What were you?”

 

“What?”

 

“What were you tasked with?”

 

Gabriel stops, and he smiles slightly. “I was the Laughter.”

* * *

 

Gabriel tells Jack about Lucifer before the Mark. How he was the best big brother you’d ever find. How him and Michael barely fought - they were more like Dean and Sam. Fighting _at times_ , but Michael would burn the world to stay with Lucifer.

 

Then the Mark came, and everything happened. Gabriel tells Jack Angels’ history, about his great-aunt Amara. He tells him everything, and doesn’t regret it.

* * *

 

_“Hi, Dad._

 

_I know that this probably isn’t the best way to contact you. But I did call you over and over again when I was down in Hell. You never acknowledged that you heard, so I stopped. But right here, right now, I’m asking for you and Aunt Amara to come home._

 

_Father, it’s time to come home. You need to come home._

 

_Amen.”_

* * *

 

_“Heavenly Archangel Gabriel,_

 

_Time is a concept you don’t understand. Me and your aunt need to heal, to adjust. To become better siblings again. We’re trying, at the very least. I’m sorry, Gabriel, that you had to go through the trauma, but I truly didn’t know. Amara and I are on a road trip. Just me, her, and the road._

 

 _How about this, Gabriel. A deal, yeah? When_ **_you_ ** _come home, me and Amara will too._

 

 _Amen, and_ **_thank you_ ** _.”_

* * *

 

_“Dear Heavenly Father,_

 

_Fuck you._

 

_Amen and thank you.”_

* * *

 

_“Dear Heavenly Archangel Gabriel,_

 

_Hi, Gabriel. I don’t know why you’re not going to home. Are you frightened? Or is it because Lucifer is there. He has taken on the role of all four archangels, and you know that he’s going to burn out quicker if you don’t help him._

 

_You know why your Father made four archangels instead of just one. One can’t take on every role. Go help your brother, yes?_

 

_Amen, and thank you.”_

* * *

 

_“Dear Darkness and Death,_

 

_No_

 

_Amen, and thank you.”_

* * *

 

“He isn’t going to help,” Gabriel tells Team Free Will 3.0 after he’s showed and redressed into someone else’s clothes. “Our Father is still trying to be better siblings with Amara.”

 

“Are we supposed to be surprised?” Dean snaps.

 

Gabriel’s eyes narrow and Sam stands. “It’s okay, Gabriel,” he soothes. “Look we’ll figure this out, okay? We will, alright?”

 

Gabriel pulls back, and says, “I know what to do,” and his six wings _stretch_ , and shake and Gabriel takes off. He is a little rusty, but he always flies like a pro.

 

Castiel follows, but Gabriel’s faster, like always.

* * *

 

He enters Heaven with his head held high, and stares his brother right in the face. Lucifer looks surprised, mouth agape, and the Angels around them bow.

 

“Up,” Gabriel says sharply. He is God’s Messanger, but having Angels bow to him is too much. “Lucifer,” he begins smoothly. “It’s time to step down.”

 

“Little brother… how…?”

 

“I learned tricks without you, _big brother_.”

 

“I… I…”

 

“You stabbed me,” Gabriel prods. “That’s the truth. Don’t worry. I’d forgiven you long ago.”

 

Lucifer steps closer, and brushes at a scar at the edge of Gabriel’s lips. “What… who…?”

 

“Not here, Luci.” Gabriel tells him. “I’m here to tell you to step down. Father’s coming home with Aunt Amara.”

 

And Heaven stops.

* * *

 

It’s a frantic thing - when they learn their Father’s returning. They twist and turn and swirl and screech and they _want to please, want to please, want to please_.

 

His Father returns in a blaze of glory and Grace, Aunt Amara at his shoulder.

* * *

 

Gabriel keeps his head high when his father nears him. God places His hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, and leans down to whisper in his ear. “I’m glad you decided to come home.”

 

And Gabriel did decide. Gabe knows it isn’t because he’s this great son, because he isn’t. But he stares at his Father, and grips His hand and looks at Aunt Amara over his shoulder. She nods, eyes dark and a small smile lifts her cheeks. Gabriel nods back towards her and then turns to follow his Father into His study.

 

Lucifer doesn’t glance at their Father, instead trying to make himself smaller because - despite being the “leader” everyone’s always scared of their father. Instead, their Father touches Lucifer’s shoulder, a silent _It’s okay and I’m sorry_ , and Lucifer swallows.

 

Gabriel watches.

* * *

 

He leaves after a few weeks. He has spoken to Lucifer, they cleared the air to say the least. But Gabriel misses Sam and Jack, Castiel visits, but he’s always missing Dean. When he returns to the Bunker, Jack smiles at him, Sam’s lips quirk and a candy bar is slid his way; Dean and Cas are off - hopefully fucking - somewhere and Mary is watching everything go on.

 

Gabriel nears her, and starts a conversation.

* * *

 

There _will_ come a day where Gabriel will need to face Asmodeus, and that day is drawing closer. But right here, staring at Sam Gabriel knows when it comes, they’ll fight it together.

 

Gabriel pulls Sam closer, wraps his legs around Sam’s waist and kisses him gently.

 

(And nothing hurts.)

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy! Cool! Come talk with me on Tumblr @rainbowtransform
> 
> For some reason, you won't see my stories unless you turn off safe search (I swear, there is nothing wrong in there that warrents it being under the safe search) but that's what's going on. Just learned that a few days ago.
> 
> ^.^


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